


Prayer, Declaration, Apology

by lostinfictives



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x18 coda, 15x18 compliant, Angst, dean gets to say it back...sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:22:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29717127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinfictives/pseuds/lostinfictives
Summary: Dean Winchester watched the man he loved die. There'd be no normal after that.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 1





	Prayer, Declaration, Apology

_ I love you. _

The words echoed in the back of his mind as Dean struggled to sit up, his back pressing weakly against the wall. 

The dungeon was quiet, save for the buzzing of his phone that's laying on the floor. It was Sam. It must be important. Dean probably should answer, and yet he couldn't.

His heart and mind were racing. For the first time, they were both at the same pace, and they were in sync with the rise and fall of Castiel's voice when he said those three words.

_ I love you. _

Cas didn't have to say it, not if it would be the reason Dean would lose his angel forever.

He didn't need to say it. Dean had known. He had known for a while, and it terrified him because it felt so right, so certain. Yet nothing in their lives should be certain. It terrified him because it felt real, and he didn't wanna lose that feeling. It was the one thing keeping him sane after knowing that his life was just an unfair giant game of chess.

Dean's breathing hitched, and the hands that were once hanging on his knees began to rake through his hair in frustration.

He cried, tears barely falling, and yet he sobbed. His whole body was trembling.

Suddenly, the words started rushing through him like overlapping, frantic pleas.

_ I love you. I love you. I love you. _

Dean opened his mouth, his sobs filling the entire room. And he struggled, but somehow, he let it out. He knew he had to.

Cas needed to know.

The words escaped his mouth with uneven breaths. Dean wasn't even sure if they were audible, but he knew what he said. And he meant it.

"Me too."

It was a whisper, a declaration, and a promise all at the same time.

"Me too, Castiel. Me too."

He uttered the angel's' full name with distinction. Castiel needed to hear him. 

Cas needed to know.

And so he said it again. This time, it sounded like an apology. And rightfully so, he thought. Castiel saved him, but Dean did not get to save him back.

"Me too." He sobbed as he repeated the words until they faded and the sound of his crying took over.

Dean Winchester watched the man he loved die. There would be no normal after that.


End file.
